From the MAINSTream church newsletter of Latrobe Presbyterian Church in Latrobe, Pennsylvania while I was interim pastor there.
Stewardship is Personal, Not Private
I want to share with you a personal decision I recently made. I changed my stewardship. My pledge of a tithe now comes to Latrobe Presbyterian Church, I’m glad to be a part of the ministry and mission here in this way. By giving to the local operating budget of the church without designations, I’m a part of all we do even when I cannot be everywhere all the time.
For me, a pledge is more for me, than the church. The church helps me keep this personal covenant I have made with God as an aid to my discipleship.
When I disagree about the best way to serve God here, faithfully giving my pledge helps me as a spiritual discipline and reminds me that it is God’s church, not mine. God and God’s church is not for sale.
Pledging Eases Stress
I pledge because I am in leadership. If I don’t trust what this church is doing, how can I expect others to trust me to be in leadership? I cannot imagine a person accepting leadership who does not pledge.
A pledge eases my stress. I don’t have to tally up hurts and helps as if I am in the mist of a lawsuit settlement, or get out my discount coupons and watch the checkout display to see if I got what I paid for and credit for what I have done.
I don’t worry about postage, tipping the pastor or staff, if I have cash on Sunday morning or what is a appropriate usage fee because I support the church by my pledge.
Thanks for helping me in my faith journey by accepting my pledge!
When I was a student at Grove City College I was a guest on the Sunday night college radio comedy show. Or rather, my alter ego, Reverend Righteous, “supported” the Christian college’s policies and the rules of Student Affairs office. Recently I found some scripts of those live broadcasts…
Quiet Contemplation
Dear Reverend Righteous,
The campus library is so noisy. I can’t get my studying done. To top it off people actually talk in chapel and I can’t concentrate on such deep spiritual lessons taught there like Hocus Pocus Review, and Student Government Election speeches.
Signed, Typical Grover
Dear Grover,
I can sympathize with you. The chapel programs such as Soccer 76-77, and Mr. Hagstrom’s talk on extension cords and hair dryers have been a source of continuing spiritual renewal for me and a great help in my Christian growth.
I recommend that all others coming into Chapel and the library be fitted with prayer gags. Pieces of holy cloth printed with Grove City College’s rules for personal morals. This will accomplish two purposes. First it will quiet down the library and chapel and will shove Grove City College’s morality down everyone’s throat.
I don’t take credit for this wonderful idea. They must have been used before because people have been gagging on Grove City College’s rules for a long time.
The Cross Eyed Bear
Dear Reverend Righteous,
Is it ture that the bigger the cross you wear the better Christian you are?
Signed, Wondering
Dear Wondering,
I say NO! The measure of a good Christian is the size of the Bible he carries and whether or not he wears a jacket and tie to Sunday lunch.
Conflicted
Dear Rev. Righteous,
Is it alright to shack up with your girlfriend on Saturday night, then go to church the next day?
Signed, Worried
Dear Worried,
Yes! It is alright, but ONLY if you take the girl to church with you.
Darkness
Dear Rev. Righteous,
Why is Calderwood Hall so dark?
Signed, Lost
Dear Lost,
I don’t know but since those who have walked in darkness has seen a great light, the reasoning might be that by making the halls dark they are actually lighting them.
Carded at Heaven’s Gate?
Dear Reverend Righteous,
Is it true that St. Peter requires Chapel Cards to enter heaven?
Signed, Prepared
Dear Prepared,
No, God does not measure your religious belief by a holely card.
God’s Frat
Dear Reverend Righteous,
Does God want me to join a Frat?
Signed, Confused
Dear Confused,
First, let me tell you the rumor that God is a Phi Tau is False. He received a bid, but He turned it down. (Actualy, he would have been a Nu Lamb be He kept stepping out of His clogs.)
I would advise you to join a Fratnerity and try to convert them to righteousness…Reverend Righteous that is, rates are very reasonable.
That’s all for this week, keep those chapel cards and letters coming folks!
When I was a student at Grove City College I was a guest on the Sunday night college radio comedy show. Or rather, my alter ego, Reverend Righteous, “supported” the Christian college’s policies and the rules of Student Affairs office. Recently I found some scripts of those live broadcasts…
A Word for Our Sponsor
Say Christians, looking for good clean fast food? Visit Jesus McChrist, Land of the Gold Crosses. This week featuring Jonah and Whale Fish Patty.
Smuggling
Friends, I have been inspired. Yes, brothers and sisters after listening to last week’s Chapel on smuggling Bibles into Russia, I, Reverend Righteous, am organizing a trip to smuggle in popcorn poppers. Although popcorn poppers are not banned in Russia, they must be registered with Soviet Affairs, (a Godless commie plot)
Now that they have Bibles I will bring them popcorn. Anyone wishing to be a teen-aged popcorn smuggler sign-up outside GeeDuck and I’ll get in contact with you.
Triumph!
Yes, friends, say hallelujah, Grove City College has won over the Devil’s plans once again. The Devil caused a power failure bringing darkness to North women’s hall Friday. His satanic plan was clear. When innocent girls sign good Christian boys in for intervisitation and an evening of registered popcorn popping, the Devil, hiding in the darkness, would overcome them forcing them to hold hands before marriage! Fortuantely, this evil was forseen and innervisitation was cancelled.
Imponderables
Did Adam have to sign Even in on an intervisitation sheet? If so, who worked the buzzer desk?
Did God allow Adam to walk on the grass in the Garden of Eden?
Florida = Hell
I find ignorant people here admiring the alleged “suntans” of those who went to Florida for Spring Break.
Tans are the Wrath of God! You heathens who went to Florida are lucky you were not totally consume by hellfire for your wicked deeds in Florida. Did you not see the Devil dancing at Big Daddy’s or driving his red convertiple on the strip?
O Wicked ones, you have felt the burning of the body for your sins, will you wait until it is too late to repent and condemn your soul to eternal tanning in hell? Be warned…there is NO coppertone in Hell!
Sunday Night Fever
Forsake the Devil’s discos. Send for my new record: Sunday Night Fever containing the complete soundtrack of evening vespers. Containing such hits as:
If I Can’t Have Jesus How Deep Is Your Faith? • Fifth of Beautitudes • Jesus Talking More Than A Man • Night Prayer • You Should Be Praying • Disco Hellfire I Gotta Put On My Processional Shoes • Staying Alive in the Faith
Act now and recieve a letter from Paul!
Hell Pie
I have heard about the pie throwing in Chapel. Most of you dismiss this as a harmless prank. It is not! It is a sign of coming tribulation! The end of the world is heralded by great disasters floods, plagues, etc. but the worst of these is shaving cream pies.
Throwing pies is the work of the devil himself. It was the devil that threw the pie in chapel. In an open attempt to destory the sacredness of a slide show and turn true Grove City Christians into slaves of the devil bring the church of God to its knees by throwing these hell pies.
Punishment should be of the severest nature. Death would not be enough. This terrible person should be forced to sit through an entire week of all the Key lectures.
Hell Lawns
Reverend Righteous has heard some gumbling about the new Tri-Fuel plant conduits wasting energy and our tuition by melting the snow off the lawns. Could Grove City College be that wasteful? NO! My brothers it is hellfire, Yes, the hellfire of the devil is hearing the lawns of GCC, God’s Country Club.
Yes, because of the nefarious deeds of the student body (such as using illegal coffeepots and Godless popcorn poppers) The Devil has chosen GCC as a priority target.
Consider these events: the closed Chapel is NOT HEATED but the mud outside the Gee IS HEATED. Who but the EVIL ONE could have done this!
Heed my warning, Beat the devil. Pledge God this winter.
10.You haven’t heard enough crying babies and snoring men this week 9.You want to sleep with strangers 8.You just can’t get any good organ music on your radio 7.You have nothing to eat for breakfast 6.You need an excuse for a Sunday morning drive 5.You need more guidance than the newspaper horoscope provides 4.You’re getting way too much sleep on Sunday morning 3.Why watch preachers on T.V. when front line seats are available free!? 2. Your children’s only religious practice is Trick or Treat 1.You’re sick of O.J.’s testimony and you want to hear the truth for a change
By members of the High School Sunday School class, Aubrey Barnes and Mandy Mahoney at Ottawa Presbyterian Church in Ottawa, Ohio. 1996. Christy Ramsey is to blame for the class activity.
Today, most Christian churches are celebrating Pentecost, the last major Christian holiday that hasn’t been discovered by the advertising and sales agencies. At Advent and Christmas, we celebrate Jesus Christ coming into the world, at Pentecost we celebrate Jesus Christ going out into all the world. Listen to this description of events at the first Pentecost recorded in Acts 2:1-13. This the story of the day the worldwide Christian church was born.
This speaking in foreign languages or ”in tongues” as the King James and Revised Standard versions translate this section is not a ”heavenly” tongue that is understandable only by those given the gift of interpretation. It is a gift that allows me to hear someone and understand another pers0n and enables that person to hear and understand me no matter what language we speak. It is like having an instantaneous translator whispering the translation into your ears.
Due to this new understanding, all were amazed and confused saying to one another, ”What does this mean?”. 0ur reading from Acts 2 tells us about a new, amazing thing that happened, the gift of the spirit and the birth of the Christian church. What happened? Does this describe it? ”Behold, they are one people and one language, and this is only the beginning of what they will do, and nothing that they propose to do will be impossible for them.” I think that is a very good summary of what happened that Pentecost.
The only problem is that this quote is not about the Pentecost experience in Acts. It is not even in the New Testament! It is in the Bible, in Genesis chapter 11, in the story of the tower of Babel. God says this to himself right before he confuses the one language of humankind into many tongues and separates humans into different peoples.
Pentecost is the reversal of Babel. Where at Babel humankind was separated by language, at Pentecost all were united by language. Pentecost brought down the barriers of different language erected by Babel in Genesis Chapter 11. At Babel, the Bible tell us that human language was confused and humans were divided. Here, in the New Testament, all humanity is united with one language. They can understand one another no matter what their nation is, no matter what their language is.
In Acts 2 all the people HEAR. This is usually the proof text for glossolalia, speaking in tongues, but the emphasis here is not on speaking but on HEARING. This not a new kind of babbling but is Babel in reverse! Now all understand, hear each other. The Spirit of God, the master builder laid the foundation of the church against the rubble of Babel. While human selfish, power-hungry efforts to build leads to confusion, God’s sacrificing, power-giving efforts to build leads to hearing, to understanding. The birth of the church occurs in the context of listening to one another. As Christians our birthright is listening and hearing each other.
Pentecost is God’s vision for the church, united together. Not that everyone exactly alike, but that all different types, races, nationalities, political and economic beliefs, are united by God’s Spirit understanding one another as well as if they all were our own brothers and sisters.
On Pentecost there came the newness promised by Jesus that replaced the old way of relating of to God. Following Jesus as a disciple had ended but had given birth to the church. The loss of the personal relationship as Jesus’ disciple was real. Yet only by this loss, was the possibility of the good that is the church able to become real.
When we choose the spirit, we lose the other choices. We must put aside our pride and individual distinctions. I becomes we. We say good-bye to rivalry, to power-plays, to privileges we get because of our economic status, our race, our nationally, or our sex. We lose much, so we can gain the fruits of the Spirit.
I think this is why people were afraid of the change that happened during that first Christian Pentecost. The newness was so overwhelming they couldn’t accept it, they mocked it as the drunken result of new wine, and they refused to believe such a thing could happen by being confused and perplexed. For they were losing something, they were losing their identity as Parthians, Medinan, Elamites, Mesopotamians, Asians, Egyptians, Libyan, and even Jews, becoming united as new members citizens of Christ’s land, Christians. The gain was great and good, but the loss is still real.
I like to think the song ”We Are the World” captures a piece of the Pentecost spirit, the spirit of all humankind joined together. There are some that laugh and mock that idea. They jeer at the efforts of others in advancing God’s will that all people live together in one big family, all different, but all caring for one another and understanding each individual. In the first century, they say they were filled with new wine, drunk. Such a vision of peace was possible to only to one drunk. Today they might insist that pea -c· e is possible only if the ”other guy” changes first or that peace among all people is the responsibility of someone else, government, the church, or even rock and roll stars. Friends, there is no other guy, we are the world, we are the children of God who have been called since Pentecost almost two thousand years ago to live together as one people.
The World must come together as one. This is the promise offered by Jesus Christ to all those who repent and are baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sin into God’s great big family. Make the change, let us realize that a change can only come in this world when we all stand together as one faithful people having taken the name of Jesus Christ.
We Are The World
Written by Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie
There comes a time when we heed a certain call When the world must come together as one There are people dying And it’s time to lend a hand to life The greatest gift of all
We can’t go on pretending day by day That someone, somewhere will soon make a change We are all a part of God’s great big family And the truth, you know, Love is all we need
Send them your heart so they’ll know that someone cares And their lives will be stronger and free As God has shown us by turning stones to bread So we all must lend a helping hand
When you’re down and out, there seems no hope at all But if you just believe there’s no way we can fall Let us realize that a change can only come When we stand together as one
CHORUS
We are the world, we are the children We are the ones who make a brighter day So let’s start givingThere’s a choice we’re making We’re saving our own livesIt’s true we’ll make a better day Just you and me
Christy Ramsey
