You Might Be Presbyterian

Jeff Foxworthy has “You Might Be a Redneck”.

Here’s “You Might Be Presbyterian” an earlier version was delivered at the Interfaith Comedy Fest, April 1st 2024 at Coffee N Comics in Reno, Nevada.

Christy and Tom Willadsen

• If you think spinkles on doughnuts are enough and dunking is unnecessary.
  
• If you ordain your coffee with equal amounts of sugar and cream to assure parity
• If you explain communion by intinction as “rip and dip”
• If you do your taxes decently and in order 
• If you think it is normal to have Easter Sunrise service at 10 AM
• If you reject chess because the bishops have too much power
• If you’ve been asked why your church is banned from highways
• If you wonder why people just don’t leave their bibles in the pews for next Sunday
• If you wonder if tithing is before or after taxes
• If you wonder what tithing is
• If you know manse is not a skin disease
• If you invite a person to church without fail once a decade
• If you’ve wondered if a squirt gun could be used to secretly baptism people
• If you just wondered if secret baptism are in order
• If you ever wonder if a church prospect will be worth the per-capita.