The Top Ten Ways You Know Its Time To Go To Church

10. You haven’t heard enough crying babies and snoring men this week
 9. You want to sleep with strangers
 8. You just can’t get any good organ music on your radio
 7. You have nothing to eat for breakfast
 6. You need an excuse for a Sunday morning drive
 5. You need more guidance than the newspaper horoscope provides
 4. You’re getting way too much sleep on Sunday morning
 3. Why watch preachers on T.V. when front line seats are available free!?
 2. Your children’s only religious practice is Trick or Treat
 1. You’re sick of O.J.’s testimony and you want to hear the truth for a change

By members of the High School Sunday School class, Aubrey Barnes and Mandy Mahoney at Ottawa Presbyterian Church in Ottawa, Ohio. 1996. Christy Ramsey is to blame for the class activity.